There comes a time in our lives when we realize that we want to be closer to God, and when we make the decision, we are always welcomed with love, and we are accepted just as we are. That is the moment of our spiritual birth, the beginning of our journey towards God. We start like babies, but we need to mature. God is love, and therefore, so we are. When we do not act in a loving way, we are acting against nature. The Lord Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you… By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13: 34-35. Love then is the identification of God’s children. As humanity, we had wandered so far away from God that we needed someone to guide us back, that is why God gave us the Holy Spirit as a guide.
There are only two emotions, love and fear. Of those two, the only one that is real is love because it comes from God. The emotion of fear is not real, it is only absence of love. Any other feelings, such as kindness, compassion, guilt, resentment, anger, etc., are resulting from either love or fear. God is aware that fear is a problem for us, and because He always puts the solution next to the problem, He also gave us the solution to get rid of the fear. As we get rid of fear, there will be more room for love. The method we were given to eliminate fear, is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not optional, it is a commandment, and it is a condition for forgiveness. It is the way to free ourselves from the pain of our feelings of guilt. At this point, the only thing that separates us from God are our feelings of guilt. Forgiveness vanishes the hell everyone has in his own life. It brings peace and happiness, and it takes us back to Heaven.
To forgive, is not only to forgive the offenses for which we have been the object, but to forgive ourselves for what makes us feel guilty. We all are aware that we have made istakes, but there are faults that we prefer to hide. But everything that we hide remains unresolved. The little problems that we hide become our secret sins because we choose not to deal with them. After a while the secret load gets to be so heavy that we lose our peace and joy of living. But there is someone who knows us, and loves us just as we are, and He is not concerned of what He sees in us. He is the Holy Spirit, the voice who speaks for God, the guide God appointed to take us back home. He knows we have made istakes, which are hurting us by stealing our peace, and wants to help us heal our mind.
The Holy Spirit, takes away that burden from our shoulders when we ask Him to bring His light to this dark part of our mind that we are so afraid to look into. It was us, who in our effort to hide those secret sins, made them even igger in our minds. Our Lord Jesus said in ACIM, “Little child, this is not so. Your "guilty secret" is nothing, and if you will but bring it to the light, the light will dispel it. And then no dark cloud will remain between you and the remembrance of your Father.” T.13.II.9. Would you like to practice this exercise and see for yourself the relief it can bring?
Find a place where you can have some quiet time that you may talk to the Holy Spirit. This is a private exercise, between you and the Holy Spirit only. Call Him, and know that He is there with you. Tell Him you want to tell Him something that happened to you in the past. A bad experience you had. An act you committed, etc. You are sorry for what you did. You want to ask Him to forgive you, and ask Him to remove the pain from your mind. Tell Him everything, don’t hide any details, be totally honest. Do it from your own perspective. The Holy Spirit will bring His light and will illuminate the dark area of your mind. He will remove the poison to the memory that was hurting you. You will not forget the incident, but the memory will no longer hurt you, because there is no more guilt.
“The Holy Spirit asks of you but this; bring to Him every secret you have locked away from Him. Open every door to Him, and bid Him enter the darkness and lighten it away. At your request He enters gladly. He brings the light to darkness if you make the darkness open to Him. But what you hide He cannot look upon. Bring, therefore, all your dark and secret thoughts to Him, and look upon them with Him. He holds the light and you the darkness. They cannot coexist when both of You together look on them.” ACIM T.14 vii.6
This is the way to get rid of your past pain, those feelings of guilt that have embittered your life. After receiving the gift of forgiveness, it will undoubtedly be easier, to forgive those who have offended you, perhaps their intention was not to hurt you, but even if it was, it's their problem. What you want is to enjoy the peace of God. This is how your painful past is erased, and you feel free. The next time you make a mistake, solve it immediately. Don’t hide it. “Let no one hour cast its shadow on the one that follows, and when that one goes, let everything that happened in its course go with it. Thus will you remain unbound, in peace eternal in the world of time.” L193.12.4
I hope this makes you think about your relationship with God.