How To Forgive Yourself With The Help Of The Holy Spirit

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I am Ruth and I want to teach you a process on How to get rid of your pain. How to forgive yourself with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness is the tool that we have to return to God. However, we have a misconception of what forgiveness is and how it must be used. Forgiving does not mean that what happened to you it doesn’t matter, or that it's okay that someone has hurt you. It only means to get rid of the negative feelings you may have of the event and the people involved. Forgiveness means letting go, and in so doing experiencing peace. When you refuse to forgive is only because the resentment has blinded you and you want revenge. The benefit of forgiveness is for the one who forgives, he receives the peace of God. There is a deceptive way of forgiving, one that doesn’t resolve anything. It is a waste of time because it does not provide any benefit. Like thinking he is forgiving someone else as a favor, or to prove he is the better one, or that he is more noble, or because he wants to be reinstated to the position he had before.  That is not real forgiveness, it doesn’t bring freedom with it. This is what the ego calls forgiveness, but are just empty words, with no power to heal the mind.  We will learn now about true forgiveness, the kind that heals our soul and takes us back to God.

Through the course of our life, we make mistakes that make our life very difficult, it brings us pain, resentment, a sense of guilt, or anger, but the good news is that in God there is no judgment against us. All He wants for us is that we may be happy, so He gave us a way to un-do these negative emotions, to make our life more bearable. We didn’t come to suffer; we came to learn.

It is essential to understand that everything that happens to us are the consequences that we brought upon ourselves throughout the law of cause and effect. Everything we have thought, said, and done, it is stored in our subconscious mind. There are times when we prefer to forget what happened because it was either embarrassing, or dishonorable; or something we don’t want to think about, or we prefer to hide from others. However, the event, together with the emotion we assigned to it, such as guilt, shame, anger, have been stored in our mind, where it will remain until we resolve it.

That negative emotion emerges once in a while as a reminder that we need to resolve it. Maybe we don’t want to talk about it, or deal with it, so we hide it a little bit more.  That negative emotion is not going to disappear from our mind by ignoring it. Nor is it going to get resolved on its own. If we don’t resolve it, similar events will come our way, until we finally do it. We didn’t imagine that it was going to bring us future consequences, or we would have solved it immediately. And yet our Lord Jesus is saying in A Course In Miracles: "Little child, this is not so. Your ‘guilty secret’ is nothing, and if you will but bring it to the light, the light will dispel it. And then no dark cloud will remain between you and the remembrance of your Father, for you will remember His guiltless Son, who did not die because he is immortal."  ACIM T13.ii.9.

With each chapter you close in your life through forgiveness, an obstacle in your way is removed. This is how you create a better future for yourself, and your walk through life, becomes easier. You will enjoy the presence of God.  Love, peace, and joy, are attributes that God gave you, but you don’t experience them when you are harboring anger, resentment, or guilt.  Those negative emotions don’t let you feel His presence, because they interpose between you and God.  What you want is revenge, your want that the other pays for what he did. And that turns you into his/her jailer, your desire for vengeance takes away your freedom. ACIM says: “Who can be born again in Christ but him who has forgiven everyone he sees or thinks of or imagines? Who could be set free while he imprisons anyone?  A jailer is not free, for he is bound together with his prisoner.   He must be sure that he does not escape, and so he spends his time in keeping watch on him. The bars that limit him become the world in which his jailer lives, along with him. And it is on his freedom that the way to liberty depends for both of them." ACIM L.192. 8. For this you need the help of the Holy Spirit, you cannot do it by yourself.  

We suggest you make a list of those past events that hurts you to remember, it doesn’t matter the degree of discomfort they are causing you.  Work only one issue at the time. Analyze it in detail until you recognize that you are responsible for what happened, and the pain is the result of your mistake.   You are not being punished.  Once you arrive to that conclusion you are ready to take it to the Holy Spirit. Take to Him only that particular problem. Once that one is resolved, cross it off your list and continue with the next one as soon as possible. A Course in Miracles says: “The Holy Spirit asks of you but this; bring to Him every secret you have locked away from Him. Open every door to Him, and bid Him enter the darkness and lighten it away. At your request He enters gladly. He brings the light to darkness if you make the darkness open to Him. But what you hide He cannot look upon. He sees for you, and unless you look with Him He cannot see. The vision of Christ is not for Him alone, but for Him with you.  Bring, therefore, all your dark and secret thoughts to Him, and look upon them with Him. He holds the light, and you the darkness. They cannot coexist when both of You together look on them. His judgment must prevail, and He will give it to you as you join your perception to His.”  ACIM T.14 vii.6.  


Take the first issue from your list, and try to remember exactly what is that it happened. What provoked the situation, who said what, what was your response to it, which other factors intervened. Remember everything, being totally honest with yourself. Review the related circumstances of the event that is causing you the pain, do it until you realize that it was you who started what later on turned into a problem. Punishment never comes from God, God is Who provides the healing.  The Bible says. “They have sown the wind, and they will reap the whirlwind.” Hosea 8:7. Only by analyzing it, you will be able to take responsibility for your mistake and receive proper help. You brought it upon yourself, but as long as you believe that you are the victim, it won’t be resolved.  

Once you have done your analysis find a quiet place where you won’t be distracted for about one hour that you may talk with the Holy Spirit. Call him in an attitude of prayer, and assume that He is present listening to every one of your words. From your point of view tell Him what happened. Remember the emotion; if it was guilt, pain, suffering, embarrassment, anger, whatever it was. Give all the information without omitting anything, because the Holy Spirit will heal your mind of what you confessed to Him and only that. If you purposely omitted something, because it is something you want to continue doing, it means you are not looking for true healing. But if you forgot to mention it, confess it to Him as soon as you remember it. Do it as before that your healing may be complete.

When you finished your narration, allow the Holy Spirit about 30 additional minutes that He may work on you. He will heal your mind, and you will experience the miracle of God's grace in your life. The negative emotion will disappear from your mind immediately and you will notice the difference. There will be a change of energy about you. This will begin to open doors that were closed to you before. Your future will be better.

Use the present to correct your mistakes, so you may have a brighter future. Do not use the present to dwell on your painful past experiences, that will only make you weak.  You can accomplish it by staying alert to your thoughts, do not let your mind wander, you have control over your thoughts. A Course In Miracles says,  “Let no one hour cast its shadow on the one that follows, and when that one goes, let everything that happened in its course go with it. Thus will you remain unbound, in peace eternal in the world of time.” ACIM. L-193. 12:4,5.  I wish that miracles replace all your grievances.

God Bless you my brother, I am Ruth